I recently went into one of my favourite clothing stores to do some shopping. I was looking for something specific and I thought I’d take a chance to see if they had what I was looking for. Much to my delight, they did! (I was looking for a pair of flared or “bell bottom” type jeans! Yes they’re back and I’m loving it!) I already knew what size I would be so I grabbed my size off of the rack and went into the change room to try them on. Once I got in the change room to try the jeans on I quickly realized that there must be some mistake. They seemed a tad snug around my thighs, butt and general mid section. What the…? I thought to myself. This isn’t right. I know I’m a size 8 at this store when it comes to jeans.
Over the past year I had gone from a size 6 to an 8 because I was intentional about lifting more weights and putting on muscle (my personal fitness trainer helped a lot). Which I was proud of so I totally embraced the jump from a 6 to an 8. Which is why this time in the change room I was a bit baffled as to why the 8 wasn’t doing what it should. Why can’t I do these UP?? I thought to myself. I asked the attendant to grab me the next size…a 10. I hesitantly put them on and much to my dismay, they were still snug around my bottom and mid section. What in the actual..?!? I respectfully (albeit, also begrudgingly) asked the attendant again, for a size 12. Much to my already added dismay, they fit. A pair of size 12 jeans fit me. Fit ME!! I had never been a size 12 in anything…ever in my entire life. I was happy that I had found my pair of bell bottoms that I was looking for but on the other hand I couldn’t understand why I was a size 12!? All of my other jeans were a size 8 but for some reason, in this style, I had jumped up two sizes. What gives?? Do I look great in them? Yes, but that’s besides the point.
WTH! Up 2 sizes??
All of my life I had struggled with how I looked. There have even been times where I wasn’t healthy because I wasn’t eating properly. As in, I wasn’t eating enough and was dieting a bit too much. Looking back on pictures, I can see now how thin and unhealthy I really was. Even a few months ago, I was going through some things in my closet and some of my suit jackets don’t fit my shape anymore because I’m not as thin as I once was. My arms and waist are thicker and my back is wider. While a part of me is disappointed that I’m gonna have to get a new wardrobe, it’s also a reminder that I’m reaching my goals about being healthier and stronger. And with that, comes change.
It’s the same thing with the scale. For a long time I didn’t even own a scale. I didn’t want to constantly be on it. I didn’t want all of my hope to rest on that one number. But now I can look at it and understand that my weight number is more than it was a year ago because I intended it that way. (Muscle weighs more than fat.) It took me a long time to understand that food is not the enemy. Food (the GOOD stuff) is FUEL for my body. If I really wanted more shape, that required more food and more muscle which means the number on the scale is gonna go up and the number of my pant size is gonna go up. We live in a society that puts a lot of emphasis on numbers and what we “should” be. We have magazines that try to tell us what beauty is (which is usually some airbrushed bimbo who’s an anorexic size 0.) Who wants to be the same weight as AIR?? Not me! I’m learning to embrace my new curves that comes along with eating properly and lifting weights. I also love feeling stronger than I was, even a year ago.
Numbers to me, I am quickly realizing, mean very little. As long as you’re healthy, eating right, getting to the gym, putting in the work, that number on the scale or your pants doesn’t mean anything. If anything, it means your body is changing for the better and adjusting to your new lifestyle and effort that’s being put in and that’s something to be proud of. Don’t think about the number on the scale or your clothing. Instead, look in the mirror and look for results! Results are where it’s at. Results are your friend. Results will never lie to you. What’s looking back at you in the mirror will tell you whether you’re heading in the right direction or not. The proof isn’t always in the numbers, it’s in the mirror staring back at you.
For me, I also found that hiring a personal fitness trainer was key to increasing my fitness levels and my overall health. Every time I looked in the mirror, I could see a change. Every time my trainer looked at me, he could see the change also.